You Are Not Alone (Part One)

You know, one of the things I remember vividly about going into Private Practice (almost 18 years ago) is how incredibly alone I felt.  I knew that I was doing exactly what I dreamed of — exactly what I wanted to do, but I really felt alone.

I wasn’t literally alone.   I was around others in PP and I watched and tried to model what I was doing after the things that seemed to be working for them.  I also found myself noticing the things they were doing that I knew were not right for me.  I had lots of support from my family and friends.  They were all both happy and concerned at my new endeavor.

I think the things that had me feeling so alone were the things I was afraid to ask others.  “What do I do if I can’t find clients?”  “What happens if someone subpoenas my records?”  “What should I tell people in my brochure?”  “Should I take each and every client just to fill my book, even if I don’t feel confident or safe in taking them?”

Those kinds of things were hard for me to ask because I felt they came out of my own insecurities.  I didn’t want my colleagues-to-be to know how insecure and afraid I felt.  After all, I was working a pretty steady job with benefits and I was getting ready to leap off into no guaranteed income, no insurance, and no idea how I could crawl back if it didn’t work.

I also didn’t want them to know how in debt I was just getting to that point (mega school loans along with everything else), and how PP was really my only option.  I knew it was the only way I could provide for my son (I was a single-parent at the time) and keep our heads above water.   But, what if it didn’t work?

…Well, that was just the tip of the iceberg on the topic of feeling alone in Private Practice.  I’ll tell you more later.  For  now I just wanted to give you an idea of why I am so dedicated to  I was there.  I was alone and I was scared.

So now, you don’t have to feel that way.  Catch you later…

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